Alright, so I mentioned stalkers in the last blog about liars. So, with the help of some advice of a friend of mine, I decided this would be the topic best blogged next.
So, there are different kinds of stalkers. The kind I deal with the most are Facebook stalkers. But, there are also phone stalkers and the kind that watch you from a distance when you're out in town. I have also dealt with these. In just a moment, I will tell you how to handle them. But, for the time being... I just need to ask 'why?'. Like, why on earth are these people so interested in us?? I don't think I am someone in need of being that closely speculated.
I am not one who likes my private life being penetrated. If I wanted the world to know something, well then I'd just make sure it was all over Facebook. At the same time, Facebook is problematic in that area. (another topic I'll touch base on.) Facebook is the legal way to stalk. That goes right along with Twitter, but do to Twitter's character limits in the Tweet bar, seldomly do things of great importance in people's lives end up on Twitter. Just think about it for a moment, though: Have you ever heard of someone really getting in trouble for creeping on people's profiles? No, not really. In fact, I think everyone has done it at one point or another, just from a pure spark of curiosity. That's what Facebook is for: for people to look at and see what is going on in your life.
But when keeping tabs on someone's Facebook become's a part of someone's everyday life... It's going a little too far. I start to draw the line when I notice that someone knows about everything that has landed my profile. There is no reason why someone should know about every single picture I like or status I comment on. Neither should they be able to tell me everything I have been posting on other people's walls. That's just weird. I don't cope with weird too well. However I'm not mean to anyone like that. I just do my best to be non-existant in their world. As long as they have only gotten bold enough to stalk my Facebook, I simply block them and proclaim myself as 'done'. Facebook stalkers are by far probably the easiest to resolve. It's called a 'block button'. If you can't bring yourself to use it, then all I have to say is "Stop complaining about your 'stalker' cause if you refuse to block the person, I'd be under the impression that you are just enjoying the attention you are getting from that person ( if there really is one) and from telling everybody else about that person.
However, other stalkers can be more difficult to deal with. I still have a hard time deciding what to do about them. I recently moved and there really isn't anyone in this area that is too concerned about my boring life, so it isn't exactly an active problem at the time being. But, I have dealt with phone stalkers. One way you can handle that is to block the person's number. A lot of people don't know it but there are actually a handfull of phones that will allow you to do that from a special menu within the phone itself. Many do not have this option though. Another way is to log into your online account by your carrier and block a number there. If neither one of these are an option and the problem is bad enough, I suggest you go see your carrier and see if either they can block the person's number for you or change your number. Been there. Done that.
Last but not least, there are those stalkers that physically watch you from a distance. These are the one's that bother me the most. I have had these for years. Not all of them were particularly interested in me, but rather, they kept on eye on me on account of sombody else. This got to be so bad that I rarely decided to go out in public with my friends or with my boyfriend. We opted to stay at one or the other's house. I was getting a little tired of being watched and reported on later. I could go somewhere with the impression that there was no one around that could possibly know who I was.... Wrong. I would hear days later that people know where I was and what I was doing on what day and at what time, even though they were not with me that day. Ah, the joys of living in a small town. But it didn't even stop there. I was being watched in the next city over. Even being a decent sized city, I had to care for my privacy. I was sure not to share any personal information with anyone with the fear of being over heard. I had to watch how I dressed and how I behaved and who I was seen with.
This was something my parents threatened me with often. If I went on a date, they would tell me that I better be where I say I'm going to be because they just happened to know of some friends that were going to be in the same place I was that night. Plus, my parents being on staff at the church we attended at the time, they knew exactly where I was and who I was with at all times on Sunday and Wednesday. If I so much as touched my boyfriend's hand for a split second during service, they found out about it and I was called out for PDA in church. Believe me when I say I was a VERY good kid when it came to my dating and social life, cause I got away with NOTHING. My dad always used to tell me "When you are considering doing something you know you shouldn't. Don't think 'what will happen IF mom and dad find out'. Think 'what will happen WHEN mom and dad find out'." And boy, was he right. He had his little watch committee all lined up. I was never a question of IF but WHEN.
Here is what I have to say to that. If you are still under your parents roof, and this seems to be the situation for you, I would say you don't have anyting to worry about as long as you know you're not breaking any rules. But, if you think you might be, then just watch yourself. Do your best to stick to the rules of the house for a while longer. Because all though it may not seem to be the best way to excecute it,( it never was to me) it is probably for the best. But, if you are having these 'stalker' problems still when you have gotten out on your own... I would say to ignore it, unless it's actively being tossed in your face. Once you are on your own, your privacy is completely yours. It is just a parent's nature to want to know what is going on with their kid after they have left home. They probably won't understand everything you do, but you have to answer to your own concequenses now, they can no longer punish you for it. Just be careful with yourself ;) Sometimes you may wish that life's punishments were as forgiving as your parents'.